Have you set your sights on a lovely Korean lady? You’re not alone — Korean women are absolutely sought after, and for good reason! While obviously everyone is different, it’s safe to say that there are plenty of beautiful, intelligent, interesting Korean women around the world, so more than likely you’ll fall pretty hard for a Korean woman at some point in your life.
There’s even a dating phenomenon called “Korean Fever” — supposedly, once you date a Korean woman, you’ll never want to go back to dating women from any other country. You’ll have to see for yourself if there’s truth to that!
If you’re planning on dating a Korean girl, there are some general dating practices and tips you should be aware of beforehand. While every girl is different, in general many Korean girls have similar expectations when dating and will utilize similar dating rituals and techniques. Familiarize yourself with these expectations, and you’ll be that far ahead of the game! No one likes to be turned down, so you may as well make it as likely as possible that you’ll succeed if you’re planning on approaching a Korean girl.
These are some tips and techniques for making your dreams of dating your Korean crush a reality!
1. If you’re a foreigner, you’re an instant playboy
If you’re visiting Korea from another country on vacation or as a new resident of Korea, beware that you will instantly have some dating misconceptions assigned to you whether you like it or not.
In Korean dating culture, the assumption of visitors from other countries (especially young white men) is that you’re a player or a womanizer. It doesn’t matter if this couldn’t be further from the truth — it’s an instant association that gets made, so you’re pretty much walking around with the label “CAUTION: playboy” above your head as you make your way through Korea.
Fear not! This is not an instant deal breaker, and if you ask out a Korean woman that you have chemistry with, there’s a very good chance she’ll accept your invitation and go out with you. That being said, if you begin dating each other, she’ll also treat you as guilty until proven otherwise.
It’s more than likely that she’ll want to look through your texts and chat history, and she’ll probably comb through your social media to see if there is even a tiny bit of evidence that suggests that you’re a womanizer. If there is, you’re done. If there isn’t, she’ll slowly but surely begin to trust your intentions and your interest in her (and only her).
If your new girlfriend wants to go through your phone, don’t deny her request based on principle. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, it’s that Korean culture is telling her you’re probably talking to other girls. If it makes her feel more comfortable, you should consider it.
2. They’re worried about you thinking they’re ‘easy’
In Korean dating culture, something that women worry about is being perceived as an easy target by foreign men. If you’ve recently started dating a Korean woman, there’s a good chance that she’s apprehensive about whether or not you consider her ‘easy.’
To help reassure your new lady that you don’t see her that way, make sure you treat her with respect and that you respect her boundaries. She’ll probably want to take the beginning stages of your relationship slowly until she’s sure that you’re committed to her and not just looking for a quick fling.
Slow down, treat her right, and you’ll have no problem!
3. Be prepared to pull out your wallet
Ah, the age old question — who should pay at the end of the date? Everyone has an opinion one way or another, and Korean women are no different in that regard.
For decades, the norm has been that the man pays for not only the first date, but also the vast majority of dates that couple goes on. Splitting the bill was extremely uncommon, and the woman on the date was not expected to pay for any portion of the date — not even after dinner drinks or dessert.
While this has been considered normal and still is by many, Korean dating culture has begun to shift to a new, more modern paradigm. The man is still expected to pay for dinner, but if she’d like to, the woman on the date might pay for after dinner soju or ice cream. The couple would then take turns paying for each stop of the evening — so, for example, if the man paid for dinner, the woman would then pay for soju, then the man could pay for ice cream, etc.
The moral of the story is assume that you’ll need to pay, but don’t keep your new girlfriend or date from paying if she’s like to pick up the tab for dessert or coffee. If that happens, then you’d pick up the next check. If she doesn’t offer, assume that if you’d like to continue this relationship you’ll need to pay for everything the two of you do socially.
As far as gifts go, most Korean women will be receptive to you conveying your affections with lavish gifts and tokens of your love (and honestly, most Korean girls will expect it). Be prepared to spend big on birthday gifts, and be prepared to also purchase gifts for each of the love-centric Korean holidays. There’s one every month on the 11th (yes, seriously), so these don’t have to be as large as a birthday or anniversary gift.
4. Korean women are good at dating
If you’re crushing on a Korean cutie, you’ve already proven this next point for us — Korean girls are good at dating. While anyone can go on dates, dating itself can also be a sport if you’re good at it, and Korean women are champions. So be prepared to compete!
When a Korean girl becomes your girlfriend, of course she’ll demonstrate loyalty and commit to you. But until that happens, be prepared to be at her mercy. She’ll likely know how to turn on the charm and somehow be cute, mysterious, and seductive all at once — you’ll be wrapped around her finger before you know it.
Before you consider approaching a Korean girl, be warned! If she sets her sights on you, you’re going nowhere. Enjoy it — they call it ‘Korean Fever’ for a reason, and you’ll catch that fever soon enough.
5. You’re competing through social media
When you’re dating a Korean girl, you’re competing with everyone constantly, whether you like it or not. How is that even possible, you ask? You can thank social media.
Social media is huge all over the world, but in Korea it’s larger than life. When you take your Korean girlfriend to a fancy dinner or buy her a lavish gift, she will photograph it and post it to every social media platform and instant messaging platform that she uses so that her friends can see it instantly. Get used to being on a chat app to keep her attention!
While social media can be great because it lets you keep in touch with friends from afar and stay connected to your social circle, it can also cause a lot of pressure and anxiety for both the girl and the guy in the relationships. If you’re sharing everything with everybody, it means that you’re comparing yourself to everybody.
As a result, your girlfriend will likely feel the need to measure up to what her friends are displaying from their lives — if someone else is on a nice vacation, you’ll probably want to start planning one as well. Similarly, you’ll feel the need to blow your girlfriend away with the gifts and dates you plan so you give her something to really be excited about.
While it sounds exhausting, this also means a lot of fun! You’ll be enjoying beautiful restaurants and making your new girlfriend happy with beautiful gifts. You also always have the ability to remind your girlfriend that social media only highlights the absolute best from her friends’ lives — they’re not posting about arguments they’re having or bad days, they’re only posting the highlights. (That doesn’t mean she’s guaranteed to listen to that logic, though!)
6. Korean girls are educated, and expect you to be, too
If you’re currently dating a Korean girl, one of the things that probably attracted you to her initially was her intelligence and her quick wit. Three quarters of the adult women in Korea have a university education, so you’ll definitely be having high-minded conversations with your lady.
This also means you need to make sure your Korean language skills are sharp so you can keep up and so you don’t bore her conversationally! Nobody wants a boring date (or a boring boyfriend).
If your Korean language skills aren’t where they should be and you want to brush up on them quickly, check out this 90 Minute Challenge and learn the Korean alphabet in just an hour and a half! It’s a small investment to make for all the return you’ll get — the ability to ask out the Korean girl you have your eye on. Good luck!